This “Model” appeared first as a repeating drawing in my sketch book. I was drawing her many many time. I just wanted to draw something, some simple drawing, but she all the time followed me. And I was drawing her. I like to draw a lot with simple pen. And She was draw exactly that way. I will make a post one day about my pen-drawings, where I will put some photos of them.
2004 I was studying, had some empty canvases and a Big Desire to develop my style. So I was painting those sketches that followed me. Nothing more…
But hidden idea appeared itself ?and replaced empty context of just simple sketches. And now you see work about artist’s model. Who is like a bird in the cage of his/painters bohemian life. She gazing to window like a hope she has. ?She is tired of being in frames, that is surrounding her.
Anyway now I think even under this easy written context I can see my thoughts of that time. I felt like I live in cage. And that I need changes in my life.
Her body changes colors in some parts, for me it says about she is like a chameleon looking for a suitable position. Well in my case I also was searching for it, for position, which will make me feel comfortable, for balance and?for harmony.
Life is the second example of a sketches that i was doing for my degree-work in the art school. But it was not approved. Teachers said that it look like cartoon or book graphic. And that they were wrong asking me to search something else, that the first sketch was soo great, and I just wasted time doing another ones. Anyway I am finding this one more interesting for me. Cause even that time I noticed that I prefer more to paint and draw surrealism, but not 2D. I don’t know why my mind do not think in 2D. I was trying many times doing abstraction, well it happened, but I always finding myself beginning to add a volume to shapes. And to be really honest I am finding impossibly difficult to keep myself thinking and see things not in 3D.
Anyway that time I was really disappointed because of words about this second sketch.
And I had to convey the pencil sketch from A4 to 105 & 135 cm, exactly the same, so I was using a grid method. Sketch was exactly the same as was work, the only difference was cat, cause I changed this character later to more suited one. The pencil sketch looked something like that:
I don’t know why I came to create work with such meaning. I just remember I was long time thinking about what could I do. That year when I was painting those works at the first time for history of my art school we were allowed to make works in Surrealism. And I remember I was making many sketches before accidentally I just began to draw and just watching where the pencil will bring me. And this B & W sketch has appeared that way.
My classmates I remember also were trying to create a surrealistic works, but anyway all of them made a realistic, something classical for degree work.
Stil-life breakfast appeared in Summer 2004…
I had idea to paint a still-life with frying eggs on red drapery. This one was the first still-life I painted in that series… I remember it was summer day… My summer-holidays and my cousin called me to go to swimming pool… But I just sit and just begin, and idea to go spend time in swimming pool didn’t admire me, as this still-life… Plus all was prepared for still-life…
Anyway many people who know me usually wondering that eggs look tasteful (’cause I have allergy for eggs and hen… And I don’t like a taste of eggs. For me is possible to eat eggs may be maximum ?2-3 times in 3 or 4 month) Well, first one looks ok… But I felt something was wrong with it… I didn’t like a dimensions?of it… And I decided to paint a second one and to use only pan and egg… And yeah really if to compare the second eggs looks of course much much better… In that time I was using a black big pan, which makes a good contrast with eggs and draperies. Second one also appeared in Summer 2004, few weeks over I finished first one.
Currently both these still-lifes are keeping in my own collection and available for purchasing in one of my virtual galleries:
Still-life with a Checkered Drapery
Hmm, This still-life apeared like a countination of a series Nuts and tiny things…
First I painted the work with name “Sunflower seeds”.?Work was very small?25×30 cm. But the idea was to paint it bigger… So over a while I began this still-life ?with pea-nuts…
While I was painting first one (Autumn 2004) I noticed, that sunflower sees alone looks cool, but miss any red spots… So in the second one (Summer 2005) I added a peanuts…
Peanuts are my favorite nuts I like them a lot :)… And this both two painting are parts of my series where I paint a small things In unreal big size…
Some people don’t like such style, telling me for what to paint a still-life like that, what is the idea there??? But that is a colors, taste, that is emotion… Well I don’t know how to explain… For me such things looks cool, and I like to paint them too… And I like to look at them…?
Currently first still-life “Sunflower seeds” is sold… And second: “Nuts & Sunflower seeds” is waiting for owner (keeping carefully in my ow collection for a moment)…
Purchase “Nuts & Sunflower Seeds”
“Self-portrait. Imitation to Durer.”
Really I love the paintings by Albreht Durer. Especially his portraits. But it is a pity about existing of this portrait by Durer I have got to know most later than about oter his works. And as soon as I saw I fell in love with this one and decided to paint my selfportrait in such interpretation. The most funny thing I painted this self-portrait twicely. First I was painting it very quickly. Just a few days and portrait was done. It was very fresh, spring portrait, with pure spring emotions and feelings. But in that time (March of 2004) I was at the 10 level of my school. And at the school’s exams administration of my school also fell in love with this portrait and took it for school collection. Yeah, I was discouraged. I was so sad, and angry on the same hand, and decided to paint this portait another time, and dont show it in school. And in that summer 2004 I began to paint it again. BUt the work was going a bit longer, I began quickly, but the middle of work was very long, I stoped few times for a long whiles, during was thinking how to make it better. And only in the middle of the Autumn 2004 the second Portrait was done. First I thought this second portrait is not good, it is much much worse than first. And that is the reason why I painted it so long time, I all the time lost sure abt i am doing a good. And I was thinking so much abt first one, I was sure that it much better. But Life really a wise thing, she let me chance to see my first one. At the 11 level of my school I accidentally saw it. And I was wondering THIS FABULOUS OUTSTANDING FIRST ONE is not so Great as I was thinking. Yeah, it fresh, but when I compared it with second, I feel thatfirst portrait looks not finished. And since hat time I understood I love this econd one. And I don’t regret that administration of school took the first portrait. If it had not been so, I would never have painted this portrait.
“Two portraits of Durer, pomegranates and I.”
This portrait I began to paint at the March 2004 as soon as finished working with First portrait Imitation to Durer. And first I made this one like sketch, like a very fresh portrait. Then I put this sketch to the wall of my room. I often looked at it. And in summer 2005 I suddenly decided to finish it, to add some architecture and sky(as my mom says my favorite thing sky) to background. While I was chenging it the ideas came to my mind, and I already decided to add pomegranates, and portraits of Durer. When I was in process of finishing this work I had very strange period of my life. I thought I never could paint again at all. I began many works at that time, but many of them I couldn’t finish in that time. Finally I was angry to myself VERY VERY MUCH! And said to myself: “I CAN! AND I’LL DO IT!!!” Anyway I have finished it. But I’m not sure that it is a good work. May be because it is not canvas, it is panel. But most probably because of those memories about that time.
“Self-portrait… It seems to me we have something to tell to each other…”
This is my favorite self-portrait. I love to draw and to paint myself. And after New Year 2006 I wanted to paint the new self-portrait. I don’t know why and how but at once I’ve understood that Venice should to be on the background. In one art magazine I’ve found the reproduction of Canaletto’s painting “Bay of San Marco”. And I used it in this work. I tried to do this work full of my senses. And it seems to me I could to do it. Anyway people pay great attention to this work. Many times when ordered portraits asked me to paint Venice for background, or use a Duke’s palace. Though I was painted this painting for one person, and really I din’t get the positive reaction in the first moment and for a while he made me thing I painted a very terrible portrait. And so I made this portrait hidden in my room for a while. But then I felt that I missed it, I need to see it. Strange feeling but I was wondered how good is this portrait, when I saw it after a long hidden time. And since this time this portrait with me, yeah, twicely I was needed to take it off from the frame, when I twicely was moved. And even few monthes ago, I made a mistake, turned off the refregerator and I was not at the home. And when I came back this portrait was lying at the next room at the flour, so i found it was getting a bathroom. I was so angry at me, and at the next few weeks I ordered the frames for all canvasses i had without frames. But thanks to God portrait is ok.
“Portrait of my mother”
When I looked to the “Portrait of Maria Lopukhina” by Borovikovsky, I always thought that she is my mother. I mean that it is a portrait of my mom. I ws so proud, in my house I have a few books, and art magazines, where is a portrait of my mom. I was a little girl and very often asked my mother: “Is it your portrait?” She always answered “No, no…” In such moments I thoughts:” Why does my mother lie me?” Anyway in the Autumn 2005 I decided “My children’s dreams have to come true!” And I have begun to paint this portrait. In that time I have made a sketch of this work only. I had a long while when I was a bit afraid to come to this painting, I was not sure I could. And in Apr. 2006 I’ve returned to this work. Yeah, this portrait is very resembling to my mother, though my mother didn’t pose to me at all. I have painted it without her and her photos. She says I could do it because I know her very well. I’m completely agreed with her.
Anyway I think it is a good portrait.